My Big Fat Romulan Wedding
by LornaWinters
Summary: Co-written with Fameanon. After the Dominion War, Senator Letant takes a tour of Earth. He meets an aspiring romance authoress and decides that he must have her as his bride! Starring the FF writer we all know and love!
1. Chapter 1

**(Obviously, we don't own My Big Fat Greek Wedding.) **

**Just want to thank Fameanon for writing this story with me! And thank you, BewilderedFemale! You are a great friend and an inspiration to me-literally in this case!**

Bea Wylder was on her way to the public library. She was teaching a class at university about ancient film and culture, and she needed to pick up an old comedy called _My Big Fat Greek Wedding_for a students' assignment. It was taking forever in this traffic, and it was raining like someone turned off the planets weather control. She was not in a good humor. Her search for comedy was turning into an angst and drama rapidly.

When she pulled up to the Library, she finally saw why there was such a mess of traffic on the road. It looked like the line of limousines flying Federation and Romulan flags went on for blocks. "Great," she sighed and put her head on the steering wheel. "Now I am going to have to WALK, from the parking garage down the block in the RAIN!" She turned her car around and headed back to the parking garage she saw. For a minute, she wondered if giving everyone in the class an A would be better than this. Gritting her teeth she pulled in and parked.

She looked in the back seat for her umbrella, which she remembered she let her Southern friend who worked at the museum borrow for some party. Huffing slightly, she opened her car door. "I guess I won't melt."

Bea was on the street when the rain storm picked up, turning into a full blown down pour, and soaking her to the bone. People walked past her, looking at her with pity from under their umbrellas, until she finally said, "I'm not running, this movie isn't worth me running. I am walking, see me walk. See Bea Walk. Walk Bea walk." She giggled and muttered as she opened the big double doors into the library.

"Senator Letant," a man in a suit said with a broad hand gesture of welcome, "This is one of the largest and oldest public libraries still in use on Earth. This used to be in the old Nation State of the United States of America, before the earth..." he trailed off. The Senator was giving him a dead look, as if in his mind he was making a grocery list. The man shifted, "Perhaps it would be better to show you, rather than tell you."

Letant blinked. "Yes, please do." He looked at his body guards and in Romulan whispered, "I'm not convinced humans have really evolved in the last three hundred years." The guards gave a snarky grin, but knew better than to openly laugh.

Bea could hear her shoes on the marble, first squeaking loudly, and then squishing across the carpet as she approached the counter. "Excuse me, sir," she said, as kindly as she could, ignoring the rain water still dripping down her nose from her hair. The librarian at the counter tapped at the terminal, and then turned to greet the young woman, "Oh my," he said, plucking some kleenex from his box and handing it to her.

She snorted and laughed, "Thanks but at this point I think I am going to need a sham-wow or something."

The man grinned, "Well, I am fresh out of those. But if you care to browse the Elizabethan science books, I'm sure those are dry enough to meet your needs."

Bea slapped the counter and laughed, "RIGHT! Or perhaps some, I don't know, Vulcan love sonnets?"

It was the librarian's turn to laugh, "Klingon operas if you need a lot of hot air?"

Bea giggled as she dabbed away water with her Kleenex, unaware that traces of the white tissue were now stuck unceremoniously to her face. "I'd rather be wet than listen to that rubbish!" she grinned. "What I need is the data crystal with the old movie _My Big Fat Greek Wedding_. I am teaching at university, and lucky me, they picked that movie-the only one I haven't seen and don't own-for their assignment."

The man went to his computer panel and started tapping at the screen, "My great grandfather had that movie and made my dad watch it…" He frowned, "Oh my, I am so sorry…it looks like it is out."

Bea threw herself face first dramatically on the counter, "NO! Not all this way for NOTHING!"

"And this Senator, is where we keep data rods of rare and archaic films. Film was a highly popular form of entertainment from the early nineteen hundreds to…"

The Senator raised his hand to silence the man speaking, "I am aware of what film is," he said, and then pointed at the soaking woman flung on the counter. "What I am more interested in now, is what…that is?"

All eyes turned to Bea, and she could feel the heat of their stares through the coldness of her clinging clothes. Standing straight again she whispered through clenched teeth to the Librarian, "They….are…staring…at…me…aren't they?"

His eyes were wide and he nodded. "Some Romulan asked what you were…"

She turned to face the group behind her, the Kleenex still stuck to her face.

Letant chuckled, "I thought you had no homelessness on Earth anymore, Mr. Jenkins."

The man in the drab blue suit blushed, "We have, Senator, I don't know…"

Bea marched closer to the group and pointed at the Romulan Senator. "Listen up with those pointed ears of yours! I am _not_homeless; I am a teacher! I just marched through the beating rain for two blocks because you and the rest of your elf pack hogged up all the parking in the library to get a movie for my class tomorrow. And so far all I have gotten for my trouble is some bad jokes and this," she held up her wad of now disintegrating Kleenex, to show him. "Now my movie is out, and I am being insulted." She threw the damp wad on his boots, and crossed her hands over her chest. "I want an apology."

Letant's guards took a half step forward, but Letant raised his hand and stopped them. "You may want an apology, but all you will get from me," he stepped closer and his blue eyes bore down on her, "Is an invitation to dinner," he finished softly and then stepped back the pace he took. "Because I am still not convinced you aren't homeless…" A mischievous jackal's smile spread over his mouth and reached clear to his eyes.

Bea's mouth flew open, and she wondered if he was insulting her or hitting on her…or worse yet...both.

"Close your mouth dear, it isn't becoming with all those wads of paper strewn over you face." He said in a passive bored manner, though he winked at her at the same time.

She did close her mouth, and her gape turned into an insulted sneer. She turned back to the librarian, "Thanks for your help. I'll see if I can pick it up from a Ferengi." Looking back at the Romulan group, "I'll be in better company."

With that she tried to flounce with some dignity out of the library, which was very hard to do; because the harder she flounced, the more squish came from her soaked shoes and socks.

The human in the suit was as red as a cherry. "Forgive that Senator, we…"

The Senator walked over to the counter. "Who was she and what did she want?"

The librarian swallowed hard. "The film, _My Big Fat Greek Wedding_. And who she is…" He shrugged helplessly, but the Romulan saw what he needed to know laying in a watery pool: a library card.

_Property of Bea Wylder,_it read, and the Senator palmed it discreetly. Turning to the rest of the group he said, "I believe I have seen enough here."

The tour guide's head dropped. "Of course Senator, I want to thank you for coming. I am sorry if this upset your tour."

Letant smiled, "Hardly. It made the tour. Your stories were boring." He waved his goons to his side and began to leave. Slipping the library card to the largest guard he whispered, "I want her. Find where she lives and take me there."

The rain had stopped when Bea opened the doors, and she was grateful for that. It was a waste of a trip into the city, but she could still get home before dark and see if she could order the movie she needed. After this outing, a huge glass of wine and a hot shower were first on her to do list.


	2. Chapter 2

Letant ran her name through his computer in the flyer car on the way to her house. The more he learned about this Bea Wylder, the more she captivated him. He had met many humans during the war with the Dominion, but most of them were men. The few Starfleet women he had encountered did not impress him. They were capable enough to get the job done as far as fighting the war, but they were not at all like this exceptional lady.

He chuckled softly. "An elf, am I?" he said to himself as he continued to read her file. "Indeed, my spirited Miss Wylder, I will show you what an elf I can be…"

* * *

Bea closed her eyes and let the hot water engulf her. After all of that mess, she decided to take a bath instead of a shower. She took a gulp of wine and tried to unwind. Her thoughts turned toward Senator Vreenak. That saucebox baby-kisser at the library had reminded her of him, for the simple reason that he was a Romulan senator, too. "'I am still not convinced you aren't homeless,'" she scoffed. What a shameless smart-ass!

Sadly, her paramour was off to Greece to marry her friend Jan from the museum, who he was head over heels for. Bea remembered the media frenzy about them a few months ago, but she had thought it was all hype at the time. Obviously, it was not.

Bea sighed. She hadn't even gotten a chance with Vreenak. It was bad enough that her friend had taken her umbrella, but did she have to take her man, too? But Vreenak was in love with Jan the first time he had set his eyes on her. It just wasn't fair!

After her bath, she took the rest of her wine with her to the kitchen to drink while she made dinner. She decided to prepare extra. There was going to be a mountain of grading to do the following evening, and she didn't want to have to think about cooking. She was also looking forward to working on her romance novel for the rest of the night, as she knew she wouldn't have time for it the rest of the week.

Just as she was about to sit down to eat, there was a knock at the door. It wasn't very late, but the rain had picked up considerably, and there was thunder and lightning. Who would be crazy enough to be out on a dark and stormy night like this? She opened the door and dropped her wineglass in shock. A flash of lightning illuminated her caller.

Senator Letant lifted a brow as he eyed the spilled wine on the floor. "I hope that doesn't permanently stain your carpet." He was holding a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded lividly. "How do you know where I live?"

The Romulan responded with a devilish smile. "Why my dear Miss Wylder, I know everything about you." He closed his eyes and inhaled the aroma coming from the kitchen. "Including the fact that you are a noted food critic. You must be an excellent chef, too. Well, I had planned to take you out to dinner this evening, but since you are already in the process of preparing something… My, your hair is very pretty, now that it's dried and arranged," he said, admiring her dark tresses.

"You're not welcome here!" She slammed the door in his face, but not before he placed his boot on the doorstop.

"Wait," he calmly requested. "I have something you've been looking for." He pulled out a data rod from his pocket.

Bea's expression softened. Her curiosity superseded her wrath as she gazed at the item in his hand. "What's that?"

"A film called, _My Big Fat Greek Wedding_," he replied triumphantly. "Though why a woman as educated as you are would stoop to something so utterly ridiculous is beyond my comprehension."

"How did you get that?" she asked incredulously. For the time being, her anger had completely faded away.

"I'm a senator," he shrugged nonchalantly. "I have connections. Now are you going to let me in or not?"

Bea pouted. "Okay, fine," she surrendered. "Come in."

"Congratulations, Miss Wylder," he said as he stepped inside. Only then did she notice that his bodyguards weren't there. "You've convinced me that you are not a wandering vagrant after all." He flashed another wicked grin at her and presented his gifts.

"Yeah," she responded dryly. "Have a seat." She gestured toward the table and started wiping up the mess. Once she got the spot out, she went back into the kitchen to get another plate and silverware set. "Would you like some wine, Senator?" she offered half-heartedly.

"That is acceptable," he responded as he sat.

Letant examined the vittles on the plate she set before him. "What _is_ this?" he asked after he took the first bite.

"Ginger beef stir-fry and rice," she informed him. "You don't like it; you don't have to eat it." Even though she was famished herself, she made a heroic effort to eat her food slowly and politely.

"You mustn't leap to conclusions, Miss Wylder," he told her indignantly. "I said nothing of the sort." He took another bite. "I like it very much, for your information." While he savored the flavor of his third mouthful, he seemed to be considering another matter.

"Yes," he decided, after he swallowed. "That settles it. You shall indeed be my wife."

Bea narrowed her eyes, not sure that she really heard what she thought she had heard. "Excuse me?" she sassed.

"You needn't feel inadequate, Bea," he took her free hand and kissed it. "Rest assured, a woman with your abilities and accomplishments is more than worthy of me."

She snatched her hand away. "There is no way in hell I'm going to marry you, you cocky hobgoblin!"

The undeterred politician laughed softly and took another bite. "We shall see, my feisty beauty. I must say," he admired the food on his fork, "I look forward to more of these exceptional dishes you will prepare for me in the future."

"Get out!" she hissed.

"But my dear lady," he looked up in surprise, "we haven't finished dinner yet. And I thought we were going to watch your film together."

"You thought wrong!" she chased him toward the door with the serving spoon. "Out!"

"I can't believe you're doing this to me. Why don't we sit back down and rationally discuss the matter?" he pleaded, as she pushed him through the doorway.

Bea threw the flowers and chocolate out after him. "There's nothing to discuss!" With that, she flung the door closed.

Letant stood on the porch for a few seconds, staring at entryway that was now shut to him. The evening had not gone at all the way he thought it would. He was a man who was accustomed to getting his way when it came to non-political concerns.

A glimmer of hope shined in his heart when the door opened suddenly. Of course, she was a learned woman, a university professor. She would see reason and realize the mistake she had made. His prospect was crushed, however, when the data rod was hurled in his face.

"And you can take your stupid movie, too!" she yelled. Once again, the door was closed.

If she had been a Romulan woman, this behavior would not have surprised him. But he had never witnessed a human female act in this manner. Her fiery spirit made him want her all the more. Bea Wylder would be his consort eventually. He would persuade her. Reaching into his pocket, he activated his communicator and contacted his bouncers.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh…my….GAWD!" Bea said as she leaned against the door she just thrown the Senator out of. "What the Fu-" the com in her home buzzed before she could turn the air blue with words. She pushed back her hair and tapped the com.

Jan's face brightened the screen she was glowing and grinning from ear to ear, "Hello sunshine! I hope I am not calling too late. I tried to calculate the Romulan/Earth time difference. Is it, oh snap, you made ginger beef." Her shoulders slumped, "I miss your ginger beef, Bea." She paused and cocked her head, "Wait, you…something is wrong…are you still upset about, well, you know. Vreky?"

Bea laughed, "Jan, I love you girl, and yeah I'll envy you for always but, "she paused. "Hold on." Bea went to the window and pushed back the curtain. "Ok he's gone…"

"Who is gone?"

Bea didn't need to ask if she was sitting down, because she could see she was not only just sitting down, but sitting in what looked to be the most opulent throne like chair she had ever seen. "You are not going to believe this, because I barely do. I just threw a Romulan Senator out my damn house."

Her huff and use of archaic street vernacular, something they started doing when they went to college together, fractured Jan. She erupted into laughter. "You're your damn house, eh?" she fell off the screen for a minute in fits of laughter, and when she came back up tears were streaming down her cheeks. "Are you having me off her, Bea? I mean, you are joking right?"

Bea laughed at her friend laughing, and shook her head. "No, Jan, I'm serious, dead serious. He was just here. I ran into him at the library, he called me a homeless. I was drenched with rain and the Greek wedding and…" She knew she wasn't making sense and threw her hands up in the air. "I'm starving." She gathered a plate of food and brought it back in front of the com screen.

While Bea did that, she leaned over and asked Vreenak what Senator was on Earth right now. A couple of taps on his console later and he whispered, "Letant."

Bea picked up her chopsticks and started eating, "Jan, he showed up at my door, with flowers and candies and said I was going to be his wife. HIS WIFE, JAN!"

Jan put her hand over her mouth to stifle her growing giggles. "Vreenak just told me Letant was on Earth. Is that who it is?"

Be nodded furiously, "YES! That is the arrogant little elf's name. Letant." She spit beef on the screen as she sneered his name. "Oh, Sorry…Where are my manners?" She took her napkin and wiped it off as quickly as she could. She set the beef aside. "Can you believe that little…?" Her mouth twisted trying to say every cuss word at once and none at all were coming out.

"Sweetie," Jan said all too knowingly as she eyed Vreenak to her left. "Listen, it sounds like you could use some time away, to relax. Vreky and I are going to be married next week and I called to ask you if you would be my maid of honor."

Bea slapped her forehead, "Oh my goodness, Jan! I am so sorry! I was all wrapped up in this Letant bull crap I didn't even think! Of course I want to be your maid of honor! "

Jan beamed. "Good, Vreenak is sending a private ship to pick you up day after tomorrow. You don't have to worry about anything; just bring yourself and a plan to party for the bachelorette party. It's just going to be you and me, Romulan women don't do that kind of thing, but we can show them how it's done!"

"You got it, Jan. I'll see you soon!"

The view screen darkened and Bea finished off her dinner. _That is what I need_, she thought, _a nice long vacation on Romulus._

* * *

Jan stood and kissed Vreenak on the cheek. It was very late and she was exhausted. So much to do to plan a Romulan wedding, especially one for a senator it was taking it out of her. "I'm going to bed Vreky. See you soon?"

Vreenak smiled brightly, "Soon indeed, my pet. I'll be along shortly. I just have some business to tend to before I can."

He waited until she had padded down the hall and heard the door shut. He sat in his now dimly lit office with his fingers holding his chin. This was a twist. He could use in his favor, mend an old rivalry, and gain favor with a senator that was richer than even him. He poured a glass of Romulan ale and tapped at the computer screen. "Senator Letant" he said softly and sipped his ale.

A moment later Letant's face appeared. "Vreenak, what do I owe the pleasure?"

A jackal's smile spread over Vreenaks lips. "I am marrying one week from today, Letant, and am making a personal invitation to you, to my wedding."

Letant barely concealed his contempt. "Oh really, I will have to check my schedule to see if I am-"

Vreenak held up his hand. "Before you politely decline, are you aware my wife is a…human woman?"

Letant's eyes narrowed. Had he said that to him a mere hour ago, he would have scoffed and ridiculed him for marrying outside his race. Now however, in light of one Miss Bea Wylder, pangs of jealousy raged through his green blood. "How quaint of you," he said flatly.

"Jan is a most intoxicating woman, and her maid of honor, a Bea…Wylder, I believe, is said to be equally enchanting." Vreenak's voice dripped with fake innocence.

It was Letant's turn to cock a pointed eyebrow. He knew…the bastard knew. There was no use playing a game. "What do you want, Vreenak?"

Vreenak waved him off airly, "Nothing, my good Senator. Just letting you know."

Letant was not convinced. "Come now, old friend, we know the game is afoot. What is it you want?"

Vreenak sighed. "Human females are a capricious lot, Letant," he said, as if he was suddenly the preeminent expert on them. "So I really cannot promise you anything. I can, however, promise you that Miss Wylder will be staying in a private guest house on my estate. One that, were you my best man, let's say, you would also be staying in."

Letant swallowed. "My dearest and oldest friend! How could I turn down such an honor? Why, wild Klingons couldn't keep me away."

Both men knew what it meant. In three day's time their houses would be formal allies in the senate. All old debts would pass forgotten, and Vreenak would now sit on one of the most powerful sides of the aisle. He had just increased his and his future wife's wealth tenfold. It would mean that Letant may well now have the power to seize control of the entire senate, and he would be his second.

"I will see you soon then, my dear old friend."

Letant nodded and the view screen darkened.

Vreenak made his way back to his bedroom sipping his ale. As soon as he entered, Jan started asking questions. "So, Vreky, tell me…who is this Letant, and is he a good match for my Bea?

Vreenak hoped so secretly, but said, "He is an old bachelor, Jan. Never been married, and the sort who has been looking for a good wife to have a dozen or so babies with." He didn't lie, he would never lie to Jan. "He is a shrewd man, former head of the Tal Shiar, and very wealthy." He caressed her cheek, "So the answer is yes, I believe he would be a good mate for any woman. Especially a woman with some fire, as I have discovered only human females have.

* * *

Letant rode off into the darkness of the night. His stormy mood matched the Earth's weather. No one had ever told him no. And the fact that this common human woman had, made her uncommon indeed. He had work to do, and only a few days to do it in. He tapped his wrist com. "Tovak, call the Federation President. Tell him I have fallen ill and must return to Romulus immediately. Ready my ship; we leave tonight."

"Very good, sir."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you again, Fameanon, for writing this with me! This was so much fun! And BewilderedFemale, you're the best, girl! Thank you also to Thyme2read, Sensara, Prizm, and JustaCrazy-Man for your reviews!**

**And now, without further ado, the exciting conclusion! **

Bea wearily waved goodbye to Jan as she flew away in the car. They had just had the wildest bachelorette party, the likes of which Romulus had never seen. Jan wasn't kidding when she said they would show those Romulan women how it was done. They especially liked the rule that what happened at the party, _stayed _at the party.

She walked up to the enormous house. Jan was indeed marrying a wealthy man. Bea had since learned that Letant was an even wealthier man. Whoever married him, all the ladies at the party had said, would be the luckiest woman on Romulus. _Yeah…_she thought, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

She shivered. It was early winter there, a stark contrast to the summer rain she had encountered on that fateful night nearly a week earlier. After she gave her cloak to the servant, she decided to go warm herself by the fire in the grand room before retiring to bed.

But someone was already there. Laughter from a deep, masculine voice came from behind one of the chairs facing toward the fire. The light of the fire revealed his feet propped up on a stool next to the blaze for warmth.

Bea should have just kept on walking. _See Bea walk, remember?_ she reminded herself. But something held her back. She was curious as to who this mysterious stranger was. It was just like in one of her stories. The romantic side of her simply couldn't resist.

He was lounging in the chair, immensely enjoying whatever it was he was reading. Maybe he was Vreenak's brother? Did he have a brother? Or some hot hunter friend his, who had come in out of the cold after a fresh kill. Or maybe he was—

"Letant?!" she gawked.

He looked up from his PADD. "Bea," he breathed in awe. "I thought you'd never get back. I've been waiting up all night. Did you have a good time, my lovely bachelorette?"

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?" she growled.

Letant held his hands in the air. "This is Romulus, is it not?" he chuckled, taking a sip of his ale. "The last time I looked, I _am_ a Romulan, my dear."

"I am not your 'lovely bachelorette,' and I am most certainly _not_ your 'dear'!" she stomped her foot.

He gave her that villainous smirk again, and she berated herself for thinking it was starting to grow on her. "Not yet," he said, half to himself.

"You know, I'm not in the mood for your shenanigans. I'm going to bed." She turned on her heels and headed to her room.

At once, he sprung out of the chair. "Bea, wait!" he called after her. "I read your story!"

Bea stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes were wide when she turned around. "What are you talking about?" she asked, though she was afraid she already knew.

"_Love Not Included_," he answered. "A very good story. I was reading it while I was waiting for you," he said sincerely.

Terror struck her in the heart. The cat was out of the bag. "How did you know about that?"

"How could I not know about it when you've posted it on your Fan Fiction profile?" He shook his head in wonder. "I knew you were a teacher but," he inhaled with anticipation, "a writer, too? You don't know how irresistible that is."

Bea blinked. Letant had stalked her, showed up at her house on a dark and stormy night to tell her—not ask her—that she was going to be his wife. He showed up at this guesthouse. And now, he knew all about her story! Her face suddenly felt hot, and she knew it was all red. Was this really happening?

"Why do you always have to throw a monkey wrench into everything?" she moaned. "You really are a gremlin sent to wreak havoc on my life, aren't you?"

"I don't want to torment you," he corrected her confidently. "I want to make you happy."

She narrowed her eyes sarcastically. "Yeah…you've delighted me alright." She turned and started to walk away again.

Letant followed her out of the room into the hallway. "You needn't be embarrassed. You're a talented authoress, Bea. And I like your pen name, by the way. Very clever. And the reviews left by your readers, Fameanon in particular, are quite amusing."

Bea whirled around suddenly. "Listen, Letant," she poked him on his chest, "…just…stop following me! I'm going to bed now. Alone!" she added quickly when he opened his mouth to speak. With that, she stormed down the corridor.

"Fly my bewildered butterfly," he whispered longingly after her. "No matter the direction—you will end up in my arms sooner or later."

* * *

"Rise and shine, my sleeping beauty," a soothing voice whispered in Bea's ear. A warm and gentle hand brushed her hair out of her face.

"Hmm?" She opened her eyes to see Letant kneeling at the side of her bed. "Aahh! What are you doing in my room? Why are you always pulling crap like this?"

"I knocked," he alleged, "but you didn't answer."

"Ugh! What do you WANT?" She quickly sat upright.

Letant huffed with displeasure. "I don't _want_ anything. I brought breakfast for you." He placed a tray in front of her. "Today is the big day, and Jan will need you to be at the top of your game. But you looked rather drained last night, no doubt the result of your…festivities. So I took it upon myself to prepare breakfast. Because I care about you."

Bea's lips parted as she processed what he said. It was actually a very sweet thing to do. None of her boyfriends in college had ever done this for her. She wouldn't have thought Letant had it in him.

"And your coffee," he handed her a cup and saucer, "just the way you like it."

"How did you know how I like my coffee…?" But she stopped herself. "Right." A glance over at the night stand revealed that he had brought more than just breakfast.

"Flowers and chocolate, too?"

"Yes," he said charily. "At first I was reluctant to get them. I thought you may throw them at me again. But Vreenak insisted that human females—"

"Wait, what?" she blinked. "You're getting advice from Vreenak?" This was rich! Her former crush was telling this bozo—well, perhaps that was too harsh—how to win her over? And then she realized that Vreenak must have surely known about her disappointment. Maybe he was trying to make up for unintentionally hurting her.

For once, Letant didn't have an answer.

_No!_ she thought, _Did hell freeze over?_ "Where are your bouncers, anyway?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

"They are not needed here," he said, grateful for the change of subject. "I dismissed them."

Bea folded her arms crossly. "Are you saying I'm not a threat?"

"Well, you can certainly try to kill me. But I warn you," he seductively lifted an eyebrow, "I might enjoy that."

* * *

Snowflakes landed in Bea and Letant's hair and clothes as they waved goodbye to the bride and groom. The first lacy particles of winter descended slowly around the two, having the magical effect of seeming to make time slow.

The senator gazed yearningly at his companion. He was not usually a sentimental man, but Bea had that effect on him. What was it about this human female that was so bloody spectacular, anyway? He felt warm inside when he was with her, even though it was snowing.

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked. For once, her tone was one of mere curiosity, instead of her usual, vexed air.

He put his hands behind his back. "I was just thinking how pretty you look with white snowflakes in your dark hair. It's truly enchanting."

"_I_ was thinking that Jan and Vreenak make a good couple," she said, not wishing to go down that road.

"Bea," he said softly, "we would make a good couple, too."

She stared back at him. "Do you honestly think that just because you made breakfast for me this morning that I'm going to marry you? Just like that?"

"No," he admitted. "But you haven't even given me a chance, Bea. At least let me try to win your heart."

"Fine." She rolled her eyes and sighed. "We'll see. But don't get your hopes up. I'm not an easy girl to please."

"And that," he smiled as he kissed her hand, "makes me want to please you all the more."

Two weeks later, after an adventurous and romantic whirlwind of a courtship, Letant at last succeeded in persuading Bea to marry him.

"You've made me the happiest Romulan in the Empire!" he told her adoringly, as he slid the most exquisite and glorious chunk of rock she had ever seen on her finger. "I'm going to treat you like the queen that you are. You will have the life a woman of your caliber is accustomed to. And you will bear my dozen children and we'll live happily ever after. You won't regret this," he promised.

Bea shook her head. "I regret it already," she pretended, though she smiled at the part about having babies.

The devilish elf smirk she had secretly come to adore spread across his features. "You won't for long, my bewildered female." And with those words, he pulled her into a passionate, fairy tale kiss.

**The End.**

…**or is it?**


End file.
